SCATHING obituary launches great discussion about FAMILY.

The Dana & Parks Podcast
Tuesday, June 5th
The obit has since been removed from the newspaper AND the funeral home website... 

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

You're listening to the Dana and parts podcasts on KE MB easy. And yet gone. Out in public old panic and you thing. You know in the Mac on the odd man. Not only. Pounding the area. On. It in public they'll. Play. And I am not. Didn't bug. I've been in this. That song is accident on eight track my parents had this old crappy like old. Buick Seve and had a horrible eight tract system minute it would always eat the eight tracks and it went all of the little you know taped inside would. Come out. And I remember the blizzard we're gonna do a song and thinking oh my gosh he says a pampered pets quick way to do. But I never a kid very specifically thinking who. He says the death of ordinary Russians in the my computer just crest which is rates on Scott is gone and I am here by myself. So you know you can text me or not heard Dana popular read I want Hillary anything you're saying to me right now or look up information at stores or to or not he were to cash I do know that it is glitter. GL ITT ER for annoyed and frustrated admission. Glitter text that 272881. For your chance at a thousand dollars have you heard about the new Hulu pilot that they're shooting about Kansas City. Well it shouldn't say it's back in your tank called Kansas. Don't tell me they're shooting it in Hollywood as it's called Al Kansas and they're shooting at an Atlanta us courts that's why not. Here's here's what the description of the casting call says. Testing has now under way for those who live TV pilot Kansas City a series set in a future where the city of Kansas. It's separated by a wall between liberals and conservatives. Talent aged eighteen to 25 has sought to portray high school Ers all talent must have gun handling experience. OK give me an actor doesn't sound like it. Curious. It sounds like an interesting show premise. I don't like the idea that it's called Kansas City I'll be honest but. Why if you're going to do a show in Kansas City can they not shoot it here you will probably get really late at Torrey I was skyline shot yet. And we are getting and then that's it. The rest of it'll be in Atlanta. Quick how many people are running for mayor good. Seven. Were separate seven total five just from the City Council. A lot of people that. I mean. I guess that that's good it means we have engaged people in the listening process we do in City Council members apparently wannabe mayor and the little and I you know what. So that's a lot of noise if you're a voter that means. If you are running against six other people or eight or ten or whatever it ends up being. You're gonna need to stand out. With that many people on the ballot. And it porcelain standing out these techniques right Pittsburgh Allah if ever. Welcome back today and in parts I promised you would like an up let's do terrible joke Tuesday at like Atlanta at 4 o'clock we come back or fifteen care. Don't text me now a number one I have no computer in here. And number two I will not be able to scroll back and find it when we do terrible joked Tuesday let's make bad at. We come back and do it for fifty that's. Really quick. Because I like this story. In a weird way we're going to get to. Now let's twos and it's 4 o'clock this obituary. Have you seen it care yes that's her political my phone I mean. These are some people who really hate him it's bad and and and this is not necessarily. A sad story as I told you not then bring it down yet know it it I wouldn't call it a sad story but it's kind of like it skating. And I guess what I wanna know and is coming up at 4 o'clock if you read it stratus no but I it is it is still with you saying that. So right in like their mom so someone. But the family RC wrote a bad habits rumors about the mom I don't know that I would call that it is scathing. It's not a lot of love lost hears it and your past and my question is heck we get now would not wait till four and a do you have an obligation. To play nice. After someone in your family. Who for whatever reason. You don't like didn't get along with your obligation to say nice things are. Should you just not say anything or write anything. If what you're going to say is horrible it's kind of thought. I don't think you have an obligation at all that it would be nice if you grew up in a bad family and you were asked to write the obituary why not let it all out. If it's hot. I I didn't grow up with the you know of I'd I see with my dad. And if I was that mad at him and he passed weighed in now is write the obituary. While I fate be nice. Why would you take the time to right. Right why does not say anything. Because. Here's the deal of which were it's expensive. If they are not. She. If you want a photo in the air and there's a photo of this woman is it you're paying for that service and and I don't remember it's been a wild. Since I've been intimately involved in placing one of those but it's hundreds of dollars to place. An obituary in the stores and warehouse and so this is just from New York Post apple implement on. Weird it's ridiculous. Yes it out of here to. Thank you and it. Robin and I thought there was breaking news. They got the last work. A Minnesota brother and sister. Rallied against their deadbeat mom in her obit. For abandoning their family. And running off with their. Uncle. 56 years. Quoting here from the obituary she will not be missed by Gina and and they understand that this world is a better place without her. The woman they say became pregnant by her husband's brother and moved to California in 1962. Leaving her children. In the care of her parents. Says she takes off. Mary's the brother yup and in the children have to now deal with the aging grandparents. This woman's parents. Who apparently were hailed. The eighty year old woman passed away may 31 and quote will now face judgment. A screen shot of the obituary posted to Twitter went viral in as 36000 likes and 121000 shares. Someone writes quote I love it if I had written my mother's obituary. It would not have been fit too different. But others thought the siblings need to more healing. Then a skating obituary could bring Jay and Gina needs therapy. Wrote one Twitter user. Com answers on the obituary pages guest book or more kind. May both of you find healing and peace after the passing of Kathleen. I'm pulling up against the I can't stand that I have to. I torn about the move I don't corn and here's why. She is not here to defend herself rain. Period. So when someone dies and you. Publish something awful about that dead family member. It's your. Feelings your words. But that person's not here to defend themselves if you pull up legacy dot com. The page is no longer available. So that does the site has either crashed. Or the funeral home sought in. Maybe we should take the step so let me ask you this if you're listening and you're estranged. From. Your parents or your chance if you are actually estranged and I know there are a lot of you out there. My heart breaks of that is your scenario. Do you just let bygones be bygones when there's a death. Or G and an air that laundry. And if you air that laundry. You know there are going to be repercussions for that because she lets say has a brother has a sister has nephews has sneezes maybe they don't feel the same way. And that's kind of line torn about it this is the son and daughter and they have clearly they have a beef with mom. I just don't know that you go airing that dirty laundry in a newspaper. Obey you and I feel. Bad when I read it just I have bad feelings about it is that really the place. To be putting. United and like a person suggested therapy because that's a whole lot of latent anger there that is. 767798. I hope that's not story but if it is what do you think and what do you think when you read these obits this is not the first one we've seen. Talking about real quick if you've got to pet a filing your family or something like horrible. I get it. I'm talking more just about strange it. 57677. I that you can text me at twenty to 980 there's my computer you are listening today and parks. In my eyes from lightning landscape and irrigation are coming back out this week to tweak a couple of things that help me out. Our lawn looks amazing it is a lush green lawn for the first time in sixteen years. Because the guys like landscape irrigation to map today that you can't progress because you don't have water you need an irrigation system we have never had one house is about thirty years old. 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I will post this on our social media platforms like computer is back up and running which is fantastic. About this woman in and stand by every it's back from Minnesota. And his brother and sister. It's their mom I mean hated their mom. And she dies. And hell hath no fury like two estranged children who took their grievances to the obituary section of the newspaper. She will not be missed by Gina and they understand that this world is a better. Place with out her. It was published by. The redwood falls gazette. Yesterday. And if you click on the link to go see the obituary. The page has been removed as has the page for. The funeral home which picks up the obit and runs it as well. And somebody and in this story said hey I love it I do the same thing if I'd written my mom's obituary it would not have been fit to print. I'm asking you is okay. Is it okay this bet on somebody who's dead. If they're truly an awful person. Go to Sarah in Lee's summit hi Sarah. I. Apple came out and other however it's like beating a dead horse situation anchor. With my brother my other half a month ago. No contact with their labor 1516 years and you've done nothing about it other. And then when my father was dying it was open to form he might have the bat. And it pretty much money. And we had. Kind of the opposite situation do I acknowledge how many of actuary to way to regulate it began to accept all of Lime Wire you can hear. And then we found out that he tried publishing something in the game to cities start to affect this is this the person. It does he was horrible father I don't know which got shut down to a clinic. So when you say shut down I'm just curious was at Kansas City start declined to granite. And that's their right as a business they can say you know what. We are not gonna take your money and Prentice. I he really had no right to print any that you have had built on accident and sixteen here we have thirty published an obituary. I happen is that had gone out in the papers Sarah and I'm guessing other family members would have been livid. If they'd open the paper to see that. I mean at the end you throw a lot of different numbers and my family because it is not looking at it another respecting like. That pertinent that he respect other people's feelings that and a point acre family incomes don't feel. At the end of the big game is mainly black and white you can't change it and I understand. That they are angry that they were. Upset hurt you know. Anything you can think it doesn't look at that moment that I I'm a mom I can ever imagine leaving my shoulder and running out another care. Let. That's part of her that something nation that made peace with before she died. And and clearly Sarah did not thank you for the call. After receiving international media coverage the redwood falls gazette pulled the obituary from its website today. I'm going to read the printed version. And then follow that up with a with a pretty funny tweet. Kathleen dim Los gong was born on March 19 1938 to Joseph injured two trunk of Abbas. She married to Aniston blow its finance in 1957. And has two children Gina and jet. So far so back in 1962 she became pregnant by her husband's brother Lyle. And moved to California. She abandoned her children gene and who is been raised by their grandparents. She passed away on May 31 in Springfield and will now face judgment. She will not be missed by Jean and and they understand this world is a better place with outer on Twitter Stu writes paragraph want to thank paragraph two okay. Paragraph three way paragraph for Yahoo!. Paragraph five airplane flies overhead with a banner reading welcome to help mom. It's funny that it's not as it. Let's go to Joseph in Kansas City hi Joseph welcome. Hey how you get. It. My out thought about this are we. Left by my father and my mother are divorced and outlet orphanages. Stayed there I was searching and what. My mother. Three years and she let me on the street a city. I paid their trip for one short period. Or shall I only true in their home state a lot yours. However. Still losing he got to get to higher ground. Wearing my father and mother both married other people created new and then I am but orbit. I know got to be with them or spend any time with them that I'm on and and my father passed away I was invited to the general and I had there been an ally and title the EU. Is the way to. Mean. In their way I am you know and the other thing is you know I've gone on what I want permanent embrace. Many children or mind or fostering or adopting. I created a very good life and I know what not to do than what the same girl for 33 years. I look at it like. You know date it was their story and the hurt me for a long time about it but I triggered weight through it and there were no there. Met than anybody yell at wiped out because my. Eight. Jim you are an amazing human being and wow I I don't know how many of us would be so who opened and forgiving after everything you have been through. Let me ask Jesus 5767798. It's extreme to put something in an obituary like you know got out the year and we're glad you got that's extreme. But do you during a death and funeral. Always loss over. The bad stuff. Or is it OK to say this was an incredibly flawed human being. And it was rough it was rough for our family however. May be now this person's in a better place. Or you always just gloss over. The bad stuff when somebody dies. 5767798. Time to get to that it's here is Kara marks are a lot of unanswered questions about the sex abuse for one GI USA gymnastics we'll have more next. I got the guys at the upcoming pro coming out this week because we've got a leak and it's bad it's not a little leak it's a big bad coming through the floor of our house bath tub is going to fall through the floor. Badly and I called my guys at the plumbing pro on Friday has that look I don't know anything about plumbing but I know what water's coming out of your house that is bad. They are coming up for that and I do not anticipate that to be a small job. To get that fixed it's our master bath to up. The play pro does it all when you find that leak and you're like a little I do here. When you're not sure because there's water bubbling up in your front yard. Called the plumbing pro you know when you get that big messy news that the drain line a water line in your front yard shot. That is going to be a whopper of an estimate when you get it called my guys at the plumbing pro am whole Lotta cases I don't say most. But in a lot of cases insurance does not cover that messed. And the plumbing prog guys that come out and do a same day. Free estimate to make sure you're not paying too much to get those repairs done and keep in mind with the with the water main break or sewer line break. That's something that you need to get done relatively quickly and you don't wanna get stamped so have them come out at least give you a bid. On the latest in trends list replacement which can help save your driveway your patio your landscaping all of those investments when they're tearing up your yard. Tell Dennis and your gonna get 10% off up to 500 dollars off on any new sewer or water service guys the plumbing for a 2701280. 9132701280. Locally owned and operated since 1978. That a date as plumber dot com Dana's plumber dot com. 32 in Kansas City from the KM BZ newsroom I'm Kara marks are why did the abuse by USA gymnastics team doctor Larry Nasr go on for so long. That was part of the focus of the senate commerce subcommittee hearing today the former president of the USA gymnastics Steve penny. Made no opening statement and took the fifth to all the questions by lawmakers including chairman Jerry Moran. My understanding is that today you waited 41 days to contact law enforcement is that correct. Can mr. chairman respectfully. I would like to answer your question. However instructed by my turn to assert my rights under the Fifth Amendment. A fan of Missouri death row inmate is on hold thanks to governor aired brightens resignation Marsalis Williams was convicted of fatally stabbing Saint Louis post dispatch reporter Lisa Gail during and 1998 burglary. Crichton's halted williams' execution after questions surfacing about the DNA evidence. And appointed a board to investigate and but Darren now I'm not sure if they can since Brighton stepped down. We'll check traffic and weather and together next. Hey summer is absolutely here and if you like me have been ignoring some of those outside areas of your home start thinking about your decked her driveway your garage floor. Get seal wants Kansas City out there to permanently protect and beautify those area it's. They're experienced team come out clean and seal any wood or concrete surfaced. With that clear penetrating permanent seal it. The seal once Casey guys did this for our deck our driveway if you have a little it deck off your master bedroom. Ours was knew we had never sealed up which was a huge mistake have them come out and seal that. And help you protect those investments you know they offered 25 year warranty against deterioration and then move inside think about practiced in garage or basement floors. They do that too at that permanent polymer decorative coating I love that coating and our garage for. Called to say 8169423927. Get on the schedule now. 8169423927. For your free testament mention David's obstacle look at that 20% discount. Remember was sealed once you seal it and forget it go to seal once Casey dot com call 8169423927. Today. Dry and warm weather in the forecast for the rest of today or any ease up to the upper eighties and tonight are clearly near 65. A lot of his hitting ninety degrees for tomorrow with abundant sunshine. Now for Thursday were partly cloudy but we also had a chance for a few showers and thunderstorms in Placer high upper eighties. Shot at showers and thunderstorms for Thursday night dry on Friday and in a few more showers and thunderstorms sneak in on and by Friday night. I'm staff meteorologist Anthony or more key NBC weather. 86 it TCI 89 downtown 878 your official weather station the radio dot com app is the official almost KM BZ don't today you listen to us any time anywhere. ARAMARK Serb news 981 KM BZ. Speaking of going down. Did you hear. Just throw quick elements of this animal get back to the topic at hand injures his castle annex a police department has released. The very clear photo. Very clear photo. Of some idiots who went to a grave site in the next and stolen purse from one of the mourners carts. He then went user credit cards and that's victim was any cemetery. And listen this is the second time I've heard this this week so if you're up there and you're going to a funeral lock your car. Because there's a guy on one of the FaceBook sites or still in Casey's last night. Who said his sister's car was stolen from the cemetery. They were you know probably idling. You know loan like you do. And someone stole her car from the cemetery. And the little necks of police department assured the photo of this guy and it is so clear I mean you can absolutely see who he uses. And I am putting it on it became easy web cited race. Because I would very much like to catch the who stole someone's purse. At a funeral. So be where if you're heading to the century we hope not let's go to court in Oakland park as we continue our conversation about this gate thing. Obituary in Minnesota kids do not like mom and man they said so after she was dead High Court to welcome. An odd yeah. Are. Such a little bit of Al Gore YE we all. Negative knee jerk reaction you're reading. An obituary like it in my line of work Il a lot we have. And morning and that this is part of the content that that I had come jerk virtue as mortal and and I I. Tried we. How. We are more all the Whaley on a ballot. Death and dying and the people who are caring. Button down polished. Sort of denial we don't want to talk about the ugly side of bit and and how mortal we like to believe that I. There are going to be people out there saying is negative things about so even a bit of Matt. Don't know we meet the reading and and Matt concept that mortal. This is fascinating and I am so glad you called and so would you say it is healthier. To talk about all of it and is subtle. Is it better to do that privately or Eric publicly. Well at Al wouldn't deal with people are mourning a lot IE. I'm on the site if you are her. In morning and you have experience. A debt eight and remember our current. You'd sure and be able you're. In the what ever way it makes cents. Or year old and it let me read that obituary they are those kids. Don't care they are mourning their other. Even have edging out only negative feelings and anger. No I try greed and when we morning. I think that any dealing locally ELR Allen and AM we should be out you feel and and we really shouldn't. Dear brain you Mercury in. Don't wave that. We need to do in order to seal it very well could be in this case that they need you. Get out her anger in a way and maybe they need to be hurt they want people can know that they're angry. And done or at public way. And match still ballot height. I agree and I don't think we should not Gerri look down on them arguing that. But rather understand that about our belt that we are held but can do right by the dead even not somebody that we know. Even at not some one week airport that pretty natural inclinations. At. Mortal human. We talked to show for court and this is so fascinating and I I I find your line of work to be fascinating. We have talked about oats I am certain people in life nationally okay. Who when they pass. Your feeling is. I'm flattered that I'd take Larry Nasser who raped all of the young girls. Who were Janice I will not feel sadness when he dice I would be happy when he dies. And I think in extreme examples. People listing its I would yeah I mean you're going to be happy if someone who killed a child dies you're going to be in addition to tear of a child molester dies. But it it makes it really awkward when it's someone in your own. Circle someone in your family. Sure and a natural thing that Eli because the beat them more LME train and the fact that. You know we we what we don't want to be bad that that it is important thing if you're cleaning out you know mom out after the way and Gina are really ugly Knick knack that she loved the nobody on you'd feel compelled to keep you don't want are now. It. It it can natural. And I I really all we're now back to that. Are inherently upgrade that we don't often openly discuss our own mortality a map lead you. A lot of other issues dinner daily life which of course crap over and how we get. Just like there. I'm so glad you called court you call back in time okay. I. Thank you so much. So I'm curious if you've dealt with Dennis not extreme that we're seeing in Minnesota where this and son and daughter of this Kathleen dim low. Really. Let loose with their feelings about their now deceased. Mother and the newspaper that town printed at the funeral home printed. Can't be sued by deadly. And so they took the money imparted it has since been removed. From both the newspaper web site and the legacy dot com. Website. What would you do or do we just gloss over the bad when we lose someone in our lives that we. But maybe had a complicated history went let's go to John and the next hi John. And there. Well it there at the Euro US collar really. Oh and a lot of questions. Is it stirred up a lot of feelings remain personally. You know my parents were divorced and outside a glittery but not father another had four kids by attaching this morning. But and he's he's the one that. You know it's there's someone informs me that he died. It I don't the funeral probably beat it to nature usually dead. On and I hate hate even say that publicly you'd take named to cabinet because Kate and would stroll in the. You know what's on that that is what it is an escort and said that as a valid feeling for you have by icing there are more laughter than you know that are in your situation it's sad. But like best. Yeah I think you know elitist here serial child abuser who had seven kids do not have a more Procter and so. You know and even a little man it is he's still alive I talked to him in years. I think it important to me done is I I. Thankfully. In two years. It's into many many years. Get professional help or in and it does make a difference. Oh and John I cannot even imagine your internal conflict. Over having. Valid hatred feelings toward a mom or dad certainly any survivor of child abuse or god forbid sexual abuse has that. Turmoil inside of them you still in naturally crazy actually love your mom and dad. Right EE it is currently mixture. Guilt or feeling elated you do. EU have this deal I shouldn't being read it to my parent can't be angry and. I'm not allowed to be you know anti had a constant turmoil was pushing all. And that's the desire to forgive Maine either an intrinsic desire to. For reconciliation at some you know that was hopefully I think they're all long ago from need to. It took a lot of years of professional help. There John curious. Did you eat Jerel hammonds autobiography. Is this Saturday Night Live comedian. Not so he wrote a book about. His mother's death her name was Margaret she is aid. Horrible. Hue like horrible human being. And he became a cutter. Had all kinds of depression issues substance abuse issues because she was. Violently horrific Lee abusive to him and the book is about that just his journey. With his feelings about this person that's his mother that's supposed to love him and protect him. And she harmed him in an unspeakable. Physical. And mental ways like things I wouldn't even be. Comfortable saying on the radio they are so horrifying. Lee awful. And I just throw that out there if you watch Saturday Night Live in and you like Darrell Hammond he's been fair re open about his. Journey as an abuse survivor and then his mother's death I mean she's one of those ones that. You know she's dead and I did I do think the world is a better place without her and and I'm sorry to say that. But it is. Thank you for the call and for your honesty John I wish well you're listening to date and parts were your calls and your text straight ahead you call us at by some 67798. Text me at twenty to 980 back with more after this. Why is not what I'm sure. Sinn Fein hasn't Hillary and in my computer crash earlier years is down in there. Knowledge is it just every now and that is locks that is it's funny no way around okay Judy go. At any point when your network. That your computer person can go onto your computer and see what you're doing you know that right like here. Your computer person at work I can remotely pull out unless you're doing it needs. So at the beginning of the show I was like I got my computer it went down I got Abbott has got under this week. He isn't listening. And fixed it and so I'm sit here much. Backed up. That's because he was listening was able to do it does not like the computer gods is his mild degree came back smiled down on me and thought you know what she deserves a computer she's general buyers out ball now it was our anti Lebanon. Let's go to Mike in Lee's summit as we wrap up our conversation about this scathing obituary in Minnesota I have posted. That story across or social media platforms I'm Mike welcome. I think it. Oh. No I think Adam I think you have to look at what eight year old or or no longer lines at the intent an and the intent. It really has little to actually do the debt has more to do at the living at work to do it. The living having a lash at it respects or more pork. Closure and and I bet and I think that's important keep in mind so you don't have to say someone saint. You can't lightly Dresser mentioned yet that struggle strike all ball block. You gotta keep my funeral obituary it's not about it shouldn't be about having collapsed worked. It should be about cloture should be about whatever you know but. Should not be used to be platform apple last. Or ask you despite what if the loved one who has died. Was an abusive alcoholic and that's kind of the the most common scenario I think. Let's say your father was a verbally or physically abusive raging alcoholic. So when you go to that funeral is it OK to say he was they verbally abusive. Raging alcoholic. There are my personal situation is it too far. So I would say that my parents are living but they're welcome today when I go after being in that position and and what should I say what do I want to say. Personally to higher ground. You don't have anything I'd say instantly. Don't say you Jane not think I personally don't think I would yet. Closure now. Getting up waiting. Oh lead or at a great site. What a bunch of other onlookers. And do much from it I find it necessary. They expect my beverage of choice. Like a lot of great site and Abbott out. But certainly you have to get to a point where where you got a piece. And higher road easier said than done yet it. I didn't and it. Might it's a great call and and thank you for her. It is 359. On Tuesday we do terrible joke Tuesday here in about fifteen minutes don't text me yet. But twenty to 980 in fifteen minutes if you have a terrible joke my father sent me one. Yesterday it is so bad. I cannot wait to share it. With a ten to go to the news or mr. marks. Happening on Camby is seeing the death of an iconic fashion designer with ties to Kansas City more next. Do you wanna pay zero dollars down zero dollars a month with zero hassle it is time to visit my friends of books wagon of Lee's summit for their no nonsense nothing sale. You know amateur of that will be WT wanted to drive around and zeroed down delivers any new Volkswagen even at 2019 Jeddah and went tester of that last week. It's amazing it is sleek and it's on the same. It's like on the same frame that the T want and the atlas is on and so the minute I got an occurrence like that it does this is just like the guys you're gonna love it. The warranty on that thing is incredible all. VW 28 teens and up habit it is six years or 72000. Miles. It is eight transferable. Bumper to bumper warranty. Get in now for zero down zero months zero astle and pay nothing for the first four months my principal slightly some good at least. It at least summit dot com. Thanks for listening to the data and parks podcast remember you can catch us online anytime at KM BZ dot com.