POTW: A man's long journey to find his birthparents

Kansas City's Morning News
Friday, December 1st

EJ & Ellen's Person of the Week features a Kansas City area man who searched for his birth parents.


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

How many adoption stories start out like this about ten years old my parents told me that I was adopted and that I came from different family and they gave me. I know I story that maybe you do tell a ten year old that your room your mother was sick and she had to give you up for an preferred option. It was a different age in different time in the 1960s thing there are a lot of different different and they don't have a girl got pregnant sometimes years sent away you know and for when it was it was probably the way the right thing to do women think things are so much more open Malin. They are adoptions are much more open these days. Birth mothers have a lot of control over their relationship with the child in the years after its adopt it. But when Joseph McBride was adopted as a baby. Closed adoptions were the norm I've finally were known figured out or was told that no one here met your mother wasn't sick there are some circumstances where she gave you up as often times happens. But he wanted to nail throughout his childhood there were always those moments specially those moments when you're angry at mom and dad hit. Where he wandered in I wondered what if and what what is she like in where she him. And the united auto that it when I was younger I've. Thought you sick Cassel maybe she's dead you know I'm glad that. I was well into adulthood when I went through that process because my head goes straighter so with a enough curiosity and a wife who was willing to push him we're talking about having children out of Iowa one station as soon as leverage but she said you know four or have kids you you wanna know about. You're biologically your family history of that might be there for them also for you or long haul. Joseph set out to find his birth parents but get this. You can't just go out and start looking his mom and dad had to give him permission. How old were you 34. At the conclusion well Leo yeah I'm sorry I could've done it starting in eighteen. I can really start the process but I still had to have nursing Musharraf that's colonize the situation now but I had a of their signature so they have a lot of controls there. And once she got their okay he couldn't just go find it then contact his birth parents you had to hire a. Menace and authorize private investigator. For the process to find the birth parents and her purse or order Ron Rubin is an authorized private investigator. In a week horrendous person you're looking for you're going to you live your contact information. And has ever given the option of contact in years. And with that contact information Jerry set a personal letter. Describing his life and his desire to meet his birth parents you write a letter that can't be easy you stick it in an envelope you handed to the PI. Then you wait. And wait and sometimes. You don't wait it does seem like a matter of days because I got a phone cause untried works for the city aviation department. At the time goes on business up in Chicago and received a phone caller and she said. I've found them she found them. And the hard part is so over right wrong just because a child finds his or her birth parents doesn't mean they wanted to be found. What Joe's parents told the PI will catch you off guard. Just like it did joke. She was tougher to find because maiden name is changed oftentimes when literary London expect chiseled covered afar and of course you know he. Was easy to find because it hadn't moved just a matter of hundred yards and then on the family property out south Joseph McBride you may recognize the name he's the spokesman for KCI any aviation department. And he shared with us his adoption story during national adoption month which she's just ended. Earlier Joseph described the decision to search for his birth parents that he needed permission to do it from his mom and dad. Even in his thirties and the private investigator that he had a higher bylaw. Needed just a few days to find his birth mother and then birth father but getting to that point had not been easy. You would imagine it would be difficult for your mom and dad. We knew say you've I I wanna go find my birth parents it was it. It was yeah as a kind of choked up today days they said that they can they like the fact that they adopted in Missouri because the records were close and they didn't think you'd ever have to go down a stroke. They say you are kid we don't understand why you wanna do this but Joseph kept pushing. Gently I played the children are children and so you gotta know about. If you can about birth defects and things like that and so waved to relented inside and signed. These letters but they'd they really are not excited about the parents signed off. Joseph writes a letter to his birth parents don't private investigator finds them and hands that letter over. But would he ever get to meet them that's the the mother didn't wanna have any contact with me at all in the door is slammed right there I can every kid can't have any contact with The Who the father because of course he can reveal her identity. It's got to be heartbreaking when you find the birth parents and they don't wanna see how they take that. It's tough. You know it is just the other person bird best known and then kind of try to catch their breath. Ron Burgundy is a private investigator in Kansas City with drew Ginn team investigations. Once he's done his job. The child searching for his parents just like Juno gets his response. Where have you been all my life blue literally Dwight you waited so long and and now the party my birth father said. Tell that boy dad I want to see him Joseph got to meet his birth mother and father. And siblings on both sides and it went well. But with mom and dad McBride it was still sticky they didn't wanna meet the birth parents so when Joe's daughter Emily was born and there were family gatherings. He told mom and dad. You have a safe zone of time. This first hour and after that it's whoever wants to count the and so superstar they stayed they left after the first out Joe's dad stuck to his guns and never did meet the birth parents but after his father's death. He tried again when M when I got baptized together than right that's when we had an event. Where my mom was able to meet the birth parents on both sides and it went well I the two mothers had an off those cleansing if you autos clad. That she did it and is for how would show sorts everything out now it's recoverable situation I have three families. Cobbled them. Filers mothers that are no longer with us since then him and it's good I'm glad and I would. And I wish I would have done it sooner for Joseph it worked out. But it doesn't always won in his adopted sisters found her birth mother too late she was already gone and on top of that. Her siblings by her birth mother. Weren't interested in a relationship and private investigator Ron Rubin says that some of the toughest news to deliver. Comparable are critical short putts are quiet and just turn out you know Caricom you know thinking of what their needs are and yeah I didn't cost per currently in order to put up the straight victory Circuit Court remote and on the line. And then he just don't know what's gonna Colin can actually make contact. So for folks who are thinking about searching for their birth parents sort through your mind. What you're trying to get out of it do you wanna relationship and if you do are you willing to accept that the possibility of rejection. So for the birth parents who have the courage to give up their child and for mom and dad. Might be hard to convince because they are after all mom and dad. There's room for all of you as our persons of the week.